One of the secrets to having a loving and peaceful family is regular repentance. Regular admission and confession of sins. Regular forgiveness.
Imagine two identical families. In each family, there’s a father and a mother. Both families have two children. Now imagine that these identical families live in two identical houses. Same square footage. Same layout. In both houses, you have the same number of dirty dishes, the same number of dirty clothes, and the same rooms to clean. But one of these houses is constantly in disarray while the other is relatively clean and put together. But it’s not because one family uses more cups, or changes clothes more often.
The difference is that in the clean house, whenever someone uses a cup they put it in the dishwasher, and whenever someone sees clothes in the hamper they run a load of laundry. In the other family, the father uses a cup, but he leaves it on the counter. The daughter changes clothes, but instead of putting her dirty clothes in the wash, she kicks them under the bed.
What’s the secret to the first family’s clean house? It’s not that they have fewer messes. It’s that they are constantly putting dirty things where they need to go, and they’re doing it right away. They don’t let filth build up.
Every family commits sin. Father’s sin against daughters. Son’s against mothers. But what is your family doing with its sin? Are you putting dirty sins where they belong? Don’t leave them sitting on the counter overnight. Don’t kick them under the bed. When you sin, tell it to the person you sinned against. Turn away from it and ask for forgiveness. Don’t just say, “I’m sorry.” Say, “I sinned against you. Will you forgive me?” If your family member has sinned and is asking for forgiveness, give it right away. Don’t just say, “It’s ok.” Say, “Yes, I forgive you.” Then, when sin is confessed and forgiven, the dish is cleaned—you can’t pull it back out to look at the dirt again.
“Confess your sins one to another and pray for one another, that you may be healed.”
Husbands, keep short accounts with your wives. Wives, keep short accounts with your husbands. Parents, keep short accounts with your children. Children, keep short accounts with your parents and your siblings. Clean your house.
(This exhortation is based on an illustration I once heard from Pastor Doug Wilson at Christ Kirk in Moscow, ID)